Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
