If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
