did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
