i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
