You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the raccoons are back...
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