After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
