Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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