you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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