All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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