the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
