i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
why do cheetos always look like penises
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
