On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
