Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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