Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
