I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
