Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
