Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
