6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
