People in love make me want to vomit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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