My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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