Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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