I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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