that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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