3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
bring money and cleavage
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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