My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize