If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
