i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
