id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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