I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize