my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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