For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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