she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
