I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
