Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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