meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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