drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
