White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
