i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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