I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and she was petting her beer can
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
