I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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