idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
