i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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