so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
