There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings