I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
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i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?