and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.