He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
