Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
