I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
