bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
