shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
