He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
