The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
