i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
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Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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