So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
please don't ironically join a cult
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