while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
