last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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