Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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