My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
