No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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