a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
