He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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