hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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