she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
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Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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