This girl is more easily done than said...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
