I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize