so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
