I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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