3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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